Flesh and blood, NOT an ideal

Good afternoon dear reader

Last night I watched an amusing instagram video from Adaora Throne (Fabulous Lady, do check out her instagram page). In it, a boyfriend was stunned to discover that his beautiful eloquent girlfriend not only pooed (shat) but also pooed really really smelly poo. In that I’m guessing his image of her went from this:

Iyawo mi! (MY WIFE!)




It reminded me of a time when I couldn’t bear the thought that girls I had crushes also went to the toilet to do number 2. It was something I’d block out and pretend it didn’t occur. (I remember a Japanese cartoon series I watched once, where one of the protagonists insisted that the attractive weather lady he had a crush on did not actually poop poop but rather laid candy eggs when she was on the toilet…ahem)

This got me thinking.

A fellow on Facebook, Instagram and more spots the picture(s) of a very attractive lady and stunned by how good she looks. He takes to the comments to declare his “undying: (till he is turned down) love for her. Whenever I see such, I often wonder if he realizes that said attractive woman with curves for days, belches, poops, pees, gets sick and oh yes has days when she doesn’t look so “sexy”. I’ve often wondered if his “love” wouldn’t cool down if said lady were to reveal her “natural face” to him or perhaps tear a fart that reduces the world insect population by 10 percent.

I cant feel my legs brah! I CANT FEEL MY LEGS!!!!!

Going further, I wonder if he realizes that said picture perfect looking lady does not actually have a picture perfect life. She has issues, she has secrets, maybe even a past she’d love to forget, traumas that rise up unexpectedly. She has fears, worries, things that irritate and quirks that would probably drive him crazy if he experienced them for a day but he doesn’t see these, he sees just her picture, the pout, the pose, the cleavage (OH MY!) and he declares himself “in love”

lying 2


I don’t know about you dear reader but I think that there is a need for us to go deeper in the way we relate to one another. I think we need to pursue intimacy. An intimate relationship for me is when there is vulnerability (open to each other, every crack and every wart) and commitment (accepting each others imperfections and working through them) I believe that intimacy is what relationships thrive on and when we confuse attraction with intimacy, we end up embracing people that we really have no business being with. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone but I am of the opinion that attraction is but a step towards intimacy and not the journey itself. I believe that though Intimacy is scary (it is raw, can be quite ugly and leaves us open to being hurt) it is ultimately what everyone desires. To be known, to be seen and to be accepted

So Fellas. That attractive lady you saw on social media? You are NOT “in love” with her. Nope. You find her physically attractive. That’s perfectly fine. So get to know her (if possible). Talk to her, listen to her. It’s way too early to declare “undying love.”  Take your time and cultivate intimacy. I know that we have been brought up with the image of the prim and proper woman with not a nail out of place but reality is so not a Disney animated movie. She has days when she struggles with hygiene (like you), she reeks now and then (maybe even more than you do) and has almost all the same biological functions you do. In fact, picture that sexy international celebrity that leaves you all tight in the pants. Done? Well, a little troll tells me that right now, that lady is probably rising up from bed with dried spit on her cheek and with eyes somewhat gummy she marches to the bathroom, (scratching her armpit on the way) sits down on the toilet and with a look of utter satisfaction on her face proceeds to release:


Ahem…right. So the sooner you realize that a lady is NOT an ideal but a flesh and blood human just like you, the better.

And Ladies, You are stunning. Your social media pictures leave us confused and wondering which god carved you but please do not mistake the likes, compliments and attention for “love”. We don’t see you beyond that amazing profile picture and caption. So be sure to appreciate the people in your life that actually see and know you and take your time to cultivate intimacy with others. You are not an ideal, you are flesh, blood and sexy bones. So by all means, feel free to let your hair down and just be you. Any dude that doesn’t like it can go find himself the nearest, wettest transformer and:

kiss it

So those are my thoughts. What are yours?  Kindly comment below and let us know.

As always thank you so much for reading and until next time when muse moves fingers to keyboard, God bless you

I shut up now

2 thoughts on “Flesh and blood, NOT an ideal

  1. Just like back then in school, when a male friend came over to visit us at home (a friend, my cousin n me), the guy couldn’t believe we can speak ‘Pigin English’….he was so surprised.


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