Love is not a one way street

Hellooooooo dear reader! 😀

Something has been on my mind lately and I thought to put finger to new laptop (She’s a beauty!) and write.

I’ve been thinking about two situations. The first being you have a person you love but that person does not return your affection and the second situation being there is a person who is so into you but you really do not feel the same way. What are the usual responses to the above?

Over time, I have observed that the responses are usually “Pining” for the former and “Settling” for the later.

Why do we pine when our love is unrequited? We pine because this person we care for so much doesn’t really see us. We might even resort to self loathing or painting not returning our love in shades of black.

“Why doesn’t she like me?”

“Why does he like her?”
“I must suck that’s why she doesn’t want me?!”
“I care about him and he doesn’t care about me, what a douche he is!” and so on

all by myself

Why do we settle when we do not feel the person that wants us? We settle perhaps because we feel an obligation to them.  We feel that after all the care and attention that the person has shown us, it just will not do for us to turn down the person.

“He has been so good to me. He has taken care of many of my needs. He is a good man. Let me just say “yes” to him perhaps the love will grow in time”

“She is such a loving girl. She wants to give me her all and there isn’t anybody else so let me just go with her”
“Half bread is better than none”

I don’t know about you dear reader but i smell future infidelity.

infidelity
And we all know how that tends to end

While thinking of the two responses above, I had a thought and it goes like this”
“You deserve to be with someone who wants you as you want them” 

Personalize it with me if you please:
I (insert name) deserve to be with someone who wants me as I want them”

Yes, not everyone will feel you and you won’t feel everyone either. The worst things you can do to yourself (and to others) is to waste time pining for someone that does not want you or regarding them as bad for not doing so. Anything less than you being with someone who wants you as you want them is unacceptable (Rank abomination in fact 😀 ) and saying yes to someone who you do not return their affection is to do yourself (and them)  great disservice. Love in a relationship is not supposed to be a one way street.

mannequin
Except if you are loving a mannequin. If so, then your love is certainly one way and I feel sorry for you and you creep me out

So  dear reader, perhaps you are loving someone that does not return your love and you can’t seem to let go? Well then let this truth be the one that sets you free. You deserve to be with someone who you not only want but also wants you. So move on dear reader and find life full of opportunities to discover the kind of love you deserve.

Perhaps someone is loving you and you do not feel the same way? Please dear reader do not say “yes” to that person. You are not obligated to do so and do not drag the matter on any longer. Let the person know that while you are flattered by their attention, you do not feel the same way. Do not be afraid to take this step. Some of us are afraid to let go of what we do not want because we believe that what we DO want is unattainable. That’s a lie. While it might not take the particular form you pictured, what YOU want is very much attainable and wants you. So let it go and find life teeming with opportunities to experience the kind of love you deserve.

Your life is NOT to be spent pining or settling. You deserve the best and you will have it.

amen

So those are my thoughts. What are yours? Comment below and let us know.

As always thank you for reading and till next time muse moves me to put fingers to keyboard, God bless you

I shut up now

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Love is not a one way street

  1. Pure wisdom. But really, is it possible in this day and time to find someone who we can both love and have feelings for each other equally? I mean let’s leave clichés now and come to real life.

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    1. Well Kela. I believe it is. Yes there are lots of stories of unrequited love and people in loveless marriages but there are also cases of people that love each other. He wants to be with her and she wants to be with him. It might sound cliche to say “don’t settle” but personally I’ve found that a lot of cliches are actually truths that would be best listened to.

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    1. Hmmm…well such a passionate lover needs someone to love him just as much and from the way things are, you aren’t that person. Best to let him know so he can move on.

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  2. I wish I had learnt this early enough..he loved me madly..and I was pinning away for someone else..

    Only for him to leave me, and I realized that along the line, I had fallen for him..

    I, Chidimma, deserve to be with someone who wants me as much as I want them..

    And I’m getting there..Thanks dear!

    Like

    1. Hey Chidimma 🙂 you’re very very welcome and I’m glad you’re getting there. Take your time, you’re a lovely person and you deserve the best

      Like

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