Dear Reader I have been thinking about rejection. Rejection (in any form) is something that has taken on almost “bogeyman” qualities in life. The fear of rejection has plagued many lives and I should know, being someone who has lived in it for years. The fear of rejection causes some to never reach for what they desire and spend their lives in regret of what might have been. Others defend themselves from rejection with a mask of cynicism. Pessimistic and snarky they live their lives keeping others at a distance and while they look to be all together without, they bleed within. Others simply throw themselves into others. Fulfilling every whim and request they are given and detach themselves from their own desires and convictions. All of these are done to avoid the “horror” called rejection but of late I have been wondering if rejection is really the unacceptable thing we have believed it to be and I have come to a few personal realizations. Lend me your eyes for a bit
Life is full of choices. Every day we make choices to do or not do, to say yes or say no, to affirm or deny, to accept or reject. I believe that rejection is a thing that happens daily (normally even) and only comes to the fore when we experience it in regards to something we desire. For example:
When that person does not return your feelings
When we are passed over for a desired job
When our views and thoughts are not accepted by those we care for
When friends and even family put us away and cut all communications with us
When our ideas, input and creations are deemed of no value,
When we are considered “unworthy” of being a part of a desired group and so on.
For whatever reason (and in whatever form) we experience rejection, I feel that it is important to note that others accepting or rejecting us is ultimately something that they choose to do. We might not know nor ever understand the reasons behind it but it is their choice, their prerogative and out of our hands.
So here is my counsel dear reader. Let go. Realize today that no one is under the obligation to accept or understand you. Let go. Realize that whether others accept You or not is a choice that they are free to make. Let go and do the only thing you can do: Accept Yourself.
Why should you do so?
I believe that every man, woman and child is the image and likeness of God and that God is Love and whether you believe in God or not, I believe that Love says (without wavering) that YOU are beautiful, YOU are worthy. YOU are worth everything. YOU are not broken. YOU are not lacking. YOU are whole. YOU are complete. YOU are able.
Accept yourself, never stop loving yourself. You will encounter rejection in one form or another but it doesn’t define you. This is YOUR life and what is paramount for Your happiness, peace and joy is not others accepting You but YOU accepting YOU. The Love YOU ache for is the Love YOU give. Your body, Your life, Your dreams live and die by YOUR acceptance or rejection of them. So accept yourself daily (especially when it hurts). Embrace yourself flaws and all (True growth can only take place in an atmosphere of self acceptance after all) Let the fear of rejection be replaced by an endless torrent of self-love. Affirm yourself in word and writing (even if it feels false and heavy), Look in the mirror and smile. Realize that beauty, success, fulfillment have NOT passed You by but find their unique expression in You and Yours. Understand that You are a creator and what You see is what will be. We cannot control how others perceive us but we can control how we perceive ourselves.
This is Your life and no one else’s. What do YOU say?